I thought I should mention some *truths* before I go. Now, don't start thinking I've gone off the deep end like I'm going to admit what my weight is or anything else so drastic! No. But, I need to be truthful about a few things, since it's got me a bit fearful at the moment.
I over-prepare. I over-research, over-analysis, and certainly over-pack. I do a lot of "mental" things to get ready for a challenge - whether it be work-related, relationship-related, house project-related, hobby-related... you get the idea.
So, when I originally planned & booked this trip back in early November, I had a plan. I was going to begin working out right away in preparation of this trip, lose 25 lbs before I even got there and this trip would take me to the NEXT level. Then the holidays happened. So, then I was going to begin working out (like a FIEND) as soon as Christmas was over. Epic fail. Ok, as soon as New Years came around. Nope. I adjusted my plan, and each time - work, life, TV, sleep, naps, facebook, re-doing my packing list for the 50th time, online shopping for *stuff* I needed for the trip... everything and anything got in my way of working out. Did I forget to mention that I've been paying for a gym membership the WHOLE time?? *sigh*
Maybe you've heard of couch to 5K? ... yeah, well, it looks like I'm going to do couch to Fitness Ridge! I have managed not to work out AT ALL in months. Well, wait a minute. I said I was going to tell the truth. Ok, I haven't worked out in over a year (and then even a little more than that). So, I'm afraid that physically I may be getting in over my head. I've read SO many blogs, and discussion posts that I "know" I'll be fine. Everything's adjustable, this is a journey that will happen at MY level. I know that. But, that doesn't stop the fear from creeping in every now & then. And, you know what? The best way to combat fear is to shine a light on it. Give it words. Say it publicly. Share it. Get it OUT. So, this is me doing that. FEAR, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
One thing is for sure - this trip is most definitely going to get me to the NEXT level, even if my starting point is a little different from where I "planned" on it being.
I saw this quote recently and thought I'd share it:
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~Carl Bard
Next fear. Food. Hello, my name is Danielle and I'm a foodie. Yup, I am. I love food. When I have tons of time, I love cooking, I love sampling, I love all kinds of cuisines. I even like diet foods (just in larger quantities). However, I can also be picky (I'm sure that sentence got a few eye rolls from some people reading this that know me well). I'm willing to try things - hell, I've learned to love sushi! But, when I don't like something, I can't eat it. Not even to be polite. Not even if I'm starving. So, I am concerned about the food that will be there. Not only the tastes & textures, but the amount. Or, more appropriately, the "wanting" more. Oddly, this is one area I've been looking forward to, but tonight, fear crept in.
Fear is a baddie. It likes to lurk in the deep shadows of our hearts & minds. I think if I get to take a kickboxing class, I plan on pretending I'm kicking fear's proverbial a$$.
Yeah, that's my new plan.
I fly out in 6 days! Since the flight is long from here (about 6 hours), I decided to fly out on Sat 3/5, stay near the airport that night, and then check in @Fitness Ridge on Sunday.
Some of you don't know what Fitness Ridge is... I recommend this link. Besides an interesting video, make sure you also read the accompanying article.
http://travel.usatoday.com/destinations/story/2011/02/-Take-it-off-like-The-Biggest-Loser-/43265122/1
"The Ridge" is the only fitness resort affiliated with the Biggest Loser franchise. They currently have 2 resorts - one in Ivins, Utah and their newest one in Malibu.
A few people asked me why, why go somewhere, why spend the money, why not just stay home, spend the money on a trainer, and do it yourself. Well, the reason why is because I've tried that, for years now. It's hasn't worked. Part of my problem is I have a lot of "knowledge", know a lot of "facts", have educated myself about nutrition. Yet, I can't seem to incorporate that into my daily life - at least not on an on-going basis. So, I'm going to shell out the money, take the time, and surrender myself to this program. For me, it's a kick-start, not the entire answer. I need to go get a kick-start on exercising and eating more healthy and how to live that way. I chose to go for a month since I've read that old habits take 21 days to break, and new habits also take 21 days to take hold. So, I'm going for 28 days. I figure week 1 will just be a shock to the system, and then the following 3 weeks will be all about setting things straight, discovering things about myself, give me time to reflect & plan, and get me started on the journey that will need to continue once I get home.
About the money. Let's put this in perspective. I am, for the most part, spending my entire savings on this adventure. Yes, nearly all of it. THAT's how important this is to me. I did not make this decision lightly, it took me a year to finally decide to do it. Late last fall I made the reservation (they are booked months out!). I'm looking at this as an opportunity to save my life. The way things are heading, I don't have a rosy future ahead of me. I'm probably only a few years away from diabetes, and many other health ailments. So, no, I'm not being melodramatic. This is MY opportunity to save my life, to give me a chance for a better, healthier, happier tomorrow. And I'm going to take it.
4 weeks. A month away from work, family & friends, and my daily life. An opportunity to focus on ME.
Not everyone in my life knows about where I'm going. And of those that do, not everyone knows I'll be keeping a blog about it. I know some people have kept a blog during their weightloss journey as way of being accountable. That's not really why I'm doing this. Although, if it helps in that, then great. Many of the blogs I've read on similar trips, or discussion posts recommend at the very least to journal through this adventure. If for no other reason than to remind myself months down the road, when I'm struggling for motivation - to be able to read my own words, during my time of discovery and to help re-spark the flame during those low times. So, this is a gift to my future self.
May my quest for a healthier, happier me begin! Bring it on!!
