Day 3

Sorry I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday... so I'm catching up. This blog is just about day 3, which is now yesterday for me. Last night I was in bed asleep by 8:30!!! Of course, I've been having A LOT of sleeping issues, so, I was up at 10:30, then again at 12:00, then 1:30... and so on. They say that when you detox from processed carbs & sugar, that one of the symptoms can be disruptive sleep. I'm hoping that ends soon, because I'm exhausted!!


Ok, let's get to it!


Schedule:


6am - stretch (optional)... as previously mentioned, I'm not attending these this week
7am - breakfast (eggs & toast, side of fruit for me)
8am - hike... we did Malibu Creek (more about the hike later)
11:15am - Circuit training.. 2 mins cardio, followed by a weight machine. Repeat for 45 mins
12:30pm - lunch (soup & BBQ pizza)
1:15pm - lecture: Emotional Eating
2:30pm - Kickboxing (however, with my back pains, I could only punch
3:30pm - Mountain (cardio machine, increase every 2 minutes, 12 times, then back down)
4:30pm - h20 circuit - pool classes are tough, but easier for the joints
5:30pm - dinner (chef salad, mango sorbet)
6:15pm - lecture: Intuitive Eating


The BEST part of having pool class last? ... the hot tub!!! 15 minutes of that, followed by dinner. After the after-dinner lecture, I had an appointment with the Chiropractor. This guy is GOOD! (and ladies, he's pretty hot looking too). He diagnosed what my problem is within minutes. The session with him definitely helped, but hasn't cured my problem. I'm going to need some recurring visits to really see some improvement. Ohhh, and he used this stuff, called Bio Freeze, much better than icyhot or ben gay, and it has a roll-on dispenser. AND, there's no smell. The stuff works well... and doesn't stink up your room (or make you smell funny during class!)


The hike..... ok, about 15 minutes into the hike, we hit this steep decline. I asked one of the guides if our hike was a loop or a return trip. Figures, it'll be a return trip... meaning, this steep decline will be a killer uphill towards the end of this hike. I was scared of it. So... fast forward, we get to the base of that now steep incline. I told the hiking guide, the only reason I was going to climb up was because the f'n van was on the other side. She gave me some tips of how to go uphill (shorter steps, suck in your belly button, don't stick out your butt, and don't lean forward). Her advice helped, my back wasn't too painful going up. By the time I got up to the top, I was alone (I was in the middle of the pack), I rested some before another smaller inclined section. I was looking around, trying to think about something other than my burning leg muscles. And, I noticed how scenic it was. And then in another second, I thought how much my dad would have loved this view. And then in another second, I fell apart. (My dad passed away just over a year ago). Grief just consumed me, and I think I stood there for a few minutes just sobbing. I mean, chest heaving, loud, all out crying. It was a very emotional few minutes for me... that actually lasted for awhile - by that I mean, I was not talkative once back to the van, or even for a couple of hours. I just withdrew. It's something I needed to feel. But, it's been many months since grief has taken a hold of me like that. 


I think when you're body is just tired.. your beat to the core (like they do here), your emotions are just very raw, and very close to the surface. It doesn't take much for them to come raging out.


So, after my Chiro appointment, I showered & went to bed. Even blogging was too "talkative" for me to handle. I needed some space. So, I took it. That's another thing they try to teach here... listen to your body/mind. Give it what it needs when it asks.


Biggest regret of the day: 

• having waited until I got here before going to a Chiropractor. Living with the constant pain has been unnecessary. I didn't want to go before because I assumed I would get the type of answer most doctors tend to give... "lose weight". I didn't want to hear it AGAIN. They say that like I'm all of a sudden going to say, wow? really? I didn't realize I was overweight. They should teach more doctors some compassion & how to respect people. 

I took a few pics along the way, plus some food pics of course.

Day 2.... not as bad as I feared!

Of course, I have a theory of why... because, after yesterday's assessment hike, I was put in the slow bus - or, the beginner group, but the slowest of the beginners. Oddly, instead of this *bothering* me, I got a bit optimistic - I thought, well... maybe my hikes won't be as scary as yesterday's was, AND, maybe this will put me at the front of the pack (and boost my ego some.. yes, it NEEDS boosting, it's rather bruised currently). Guess what? I was up near the front of the pack! So, that was good. Granted I didn't burn as many calories, but I'm hoping I'll gain some strength and improve as the weeks progress.


Drama. I nearly lost it at one point today. At dinner, I took a few bites of the baked penne, and well... didn't like it. Tried the broccoli, didn't like those. I must have muttered something, and my table mates asked what was up. I told them. They said, ask for something different! Normally, this is a very difficult thing for me to do (believe it or not). So, I did. The server said, well, since you started eating it, that's all you can have... and walked away. I stared to tear up. But, I did NOT want to lose it at dinner. The girls at my table really did step in, cheer me up.. got me to go get a side salad, and essentially derailed a complete *mood* that was settling in. It would have been an ugly mood, not just crying, but the kind of *thing* that can settle in and takes DAYS to go away... a ride down a spiral to a very dark place. So, I'm grateful for them today... very much so.


I've decided to pretty much skip the optional 6am stretch class - this week. The problem is that because I'm in week 1, there are lectures ever night after dinner. So our day doesn't end until 7pm. Add in a shower, a blog entry & surfing (to unwind ... have not yet turned on the TV), and I went to bed @9pm last night.. tonight will be more like 10pm (because I got a massage). I haven't been sleeping well - partly due to detox (from processed carbs & sugar), partly from nerves. In any case, tonight I took some Advil PMs because I must get solid sleep. Anyway... I got off-track... getting to bed then, makes it difficult to get up at 5 or 5:30. So, this week, no stretch class. Next week, when there are no after-dinner lectures, then I'll try to add them back in.


Ok, some notes:


Hike:

• Did the beach hike - or slightly modified version because of being in the 101 group. 
• Still managed to do 4 miles.
• Took a road for part of it (on the way back), which had us pass some richy-rich houses, so that was kinda cool to see. BUT, the road, took a STEEP switchback curve... had to be at least 15% grade. Thankfully, we were going downhill at this point. But I learned something, going downhill that steep makes your quads BURN.
• Best thing I've been doing is making sure I wear a hat during the hikes & wear sun screen. I burn very easily and have avoided getting a burn on my scalp (my hair part usually gets one)

Classes:

• Stretch class after the hike was AWESOME
• Total Toning with Ursula... in 2 days, THAT class made me sweat the MOST, it was literally dripping off of me. Resistance bands, tough.
• h20 intervals - Sam taught this class. OMG, I didn't think I could get my heart rate up to 160 while in the pool!! (my polar FT7 works in the water, excellent!). Had some fun in that class, although it was tough!
• cardio intervals - didn't have much in the tank left for this one, so, I wasn't able to give it my all, but I did push a little bit in spots.
• Total calorie burn (from 7am-5:30pm) was only 2400. A bit of a let-down actually.

Notes about the Pics:

• Olivia asked in a comment from yesterday about the electrolyte tablets. I took a picture of the container. There are 16 tablets in there, and I bought them here. I strongly recommend them. Now, at lunch, I drop a tablet in my water glass & drink it right there... gives me a bit of a pick-me up. Bye bye headaches & shakiness.
• Sorry the dinner pics are kind of dark. I tried futzing with the settings, but, my brain hurt. 
• Forgot to take a pic of breakfast.... scrambled eggs & 2 french toast (yes, seriously), even with a 1 oz serving of pure maple syrup!
• make sure to check out the pics, there's one of me in it :)

Regrets of the day:

• Easy... that I didn't book an 80 minute massage instead of a 50 minute one! (Swedish massage)

Remember, click on the images to open a new page to see larger versions!

Day 1 .... and I'm TIRED!!!

Well, I made it through day 1 and I will admit, there were a few times that I didn't think I would. I managed to only have a couple of mini melt-downs (few tears a bit). BUT, I survived the day. I'm exhausted... this has to be the single hardest physical day of my life. Let's put it in perspective... counting ONLY from 6am until 5:30pm, I burned a total of about 3000 calories. That's insane, right? In fact, 1400 of them were done by 11am!


Ok, since I'm so tired (will be in bed well before 9pm), I thought I'd do a quick run-down of my day & a few other things. Those from work will recognize this... a list, from me! LOL ... that's my usual MO when I'm sending a rambling email. Anyway, I think it will work best for this post.


First, initial thoughts before my day began:

•  Pillows are kinda squishy (too soft for my liking)
• Bed is pretty comfy overall
• Water pressure in shower is very good
• I should have packed slippers for the room - socks get dirty fast & the floor is a tad slippery.

Stretch class:

• My lower back really hurts after just standing for a few minutes. After the awesome stretch class (6am with Sam), it actually stopped hurting... until the hike. Must bring Motrin ON the hike in case I need it that early in the day. Imagine a stretch class... and I burned nearly 350 calories in about an hour.

The hike:

• Did Paramount Ranch today - roughly 4 miles in about 90ish minutes. Lots of ups & downs. I decided the take the good advice I was told and I took no pictures, concentrated on putting on foot in front of the other. Still some muddy spots on the trails, and the trails are shared with horses... so lots of things to look out for, not to mention how they tear up the trails after it's rained.
• Had a mini melt down - and was completely alone - the last few people & hiking guide behind me were nowhere in sight, and those in front were WAY gone. The cause? The pain... but, not in my feet/ankles or knees like I feared, but in my lower back. Add in that I had to stop every now & then because my heart rate hit 177 (which I think is my max - based on my age... 220-your age is supposed to be your max, on average). So, needless to say I was sucking air.
• I got caught up for a little bit in not being last... I just didn't want to be last on the hike. Which is stupid. I know it's about me - for everyone there, it's about them. But, I was just scared of what that meant. I *think* I got over that part by the time the hike ended.

Rest of the day:

• 15 minutes is not a lot of time to get back to your room & get ready for the pool class. OR, to get back to your room to get out of your swimsuit & get ready for a gym class. Brutal.
• Classes went well overall, but I was loosing steam as the day went on. By the time I got to Circuit Training at 3:30, I barely had anything left in the tank.
• Classes were done @5:15, and while the last class was good... I was DONE 30 minutes before it ended. I mean, I went through the motions best I could, but wow... put a fork in me, I was done.

Biggest regrets of the day:

• Not having taken an electrolyte tablet earlier in the day (I took mine around 8pm)
• Not taking Motrin when I came back to my room throughout the day (I kept forgetting since I was pressed for time... I mean, did you SEE how far my cabin is????)
• Not keeping antacids on me, been a real problem today

Since I didn't take pics during the hike, the only pics I have today are of the menu board, my schedule for today and all of the food! Speaking of which, has been really good - even the Sloppy Joes that I've heard people complain about before. I'm not gonna lie, I got hungry a few times during the day, which is when I started to wane in class... but, I worked through it best I could. 


Remember, if you click on the pics below, it'll open a new page with larger versions of the pics.

Day 0 ... Am actually HERE!

Wow, ok. So, I'm here. Feels unreal a bit. Where to begin... ok, first, what *happened* today - arrived here around 2:30pm. Checked in - which means you get your water bottle, guest workbook, lanyard that shows your name & has your room key, and get your schedule. I'm in the ORANGE group this week. So, after the hikes, there are 3 groups that rotate the pool, aerobics room & the cardio room. My new friend Noelle is in the orange group with me, so I feel like I'll have a buddy with me already! :)  


You then sign up for an appt (I got the 2:35pm slot), walk up to the 3rd floor... and your prize for going up there? Getting weighed in & measured. At first I was very nervous because one of the two people there was a man... that just made me immediately feel insecure & nervous. It was John, the fitness manager. I have to say, that by the time I left 10 minutes later, I was calm. They really do work hard at making you feel at ease. 


Then off to my cabin. WELL.... in today's pictures, I included a map of the place. My cabin is #44, which is in the way upper right corner. Just about as far way as you can get. Why does that matter? You have 15 minutes in between classes - even for pool classes. At least 10 of those 15 minutes will be just walking here & back! So, I'll get a little mini workout in between my workouts!


My first meal here. Dinner was Chicken Polenta with carrots & green beans. I don't ever remember having polenta before... was... interesting. I'd eat that again, but it might take me some time to get used to it. The veggies were good... but the chicken was very dry if I'm being honest. Good thing they give you some Marinara sauce with it. Dessert on the other hand, was Tiramisu. Essentially it's some granola with tofu of some sort on top. Guess what? That was pretty darn yummy. I definitely could see having that at home.


After dinner, everyone introduced themselves - and the stay-overs (people here on at least their 2nd week or repeat guests) gave their advice to us newbies. It was good to hear what they had to say!


I need to turn in early tonight (it's just after 8pm now). Tomorrow's schedule is:


6:00 - stretch class (taught by Sam from last year's Biggest Loser show)
7:00 - breakfast
8:00 - leave for hike (all in all a 2 hr hike)
11:15 - total body h2o (or Mountain)
12:25 - lunch
1:00 - 1st weekers: announcement
1:15 - 1st weekers: Lecture - Budget
2:15 - Intro to Circuit
2:30 - h2o intervals
3:30 - circuit training
4:30 - core training
5:30 - dinner
6:15 - 1st weekers: Lecture - spending your calories wisely


So... 7:30, pass out? LOL 


It looks to be a busy day tomorrow!! Tomorrow is where it's time to put the rubber to the road.


I'm going to try blogging everyday... will see how that goes. I want to give a shout of thanks to everyone who has left comments already - they really are very encouraging, and I truly appreciate each one of them!! So, keep 'em coming! I think I'm going to need some help with the motivation part, and those definitely help keep my head in a positive place.


If you click on the album, it'll open a new page so you can see the pics larger. 

Hello LA....

Well, I made it to LA today! I switched flights very late last night. When I went to check in online for my flight, I found out I had a middle seat on a full flight. Ugh. I started to panic, started to change my mind about going. Started to get in a very FOUL mood. Here's the thing... and for those not overweight, you just cannot fully understand the feeling, so let me try to explain it. When you're overweight - and the fact is that I need to use a seat belt extender (very embarrassing to admit) - it's extremely uncomfortable to fly, let alone in the middle seat with people you don't know. For one, it's *physically* uncomfortable to squeeze yourself in. Second, I feel shameful and guilty towards the people on either side of me. Like I just want to crawl into a corner and hide (and cry). Plus... this flight was 6 hours long. 


So, for an extra $50, I switched to an earlier flight and managed to get a window seat with an empty middle next to me. Woohoo!! That helped.


So, I stayed up all night, finished packing & getting ready (even a shower @2am). We left the house at 4:30am, and I took my 7:30am flight. Got here @10:30am, checked into hotel, ate lunch, and then crashed. Sleep felt good, even though I didn't get enough sleep. I plan on turning in early tonight. My body clock is all messed up. I feel like I lost my 3 hour advantage already!


Once I got to my hotel and had a chance to breathe... it started to hit me. O-M-G, *what* have I gotten myself into? That's right, the big baddie fear reared it's ugly head. Thankfully, I was tired enough to fall asleep and could ignore it for now. **kickboxing, kickboxing** (that's what I mutter to myself when fear shows up)


Before this journey begins - I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks to my family & friends for being supportive. Thanks to that awesome facebook group of alumni & future guests of FR (fitness ridge). They have been so supportive, welcoming and so willing to share their knowledge, opinions and advice. It definitely has helped calm my nerves about going somewhere - somewhere like this, alone. I made friends early on with one woman months ago, and so I already feel like I'm taking this trip with a friend, so that *really* helps!


Oh.. and for the record, I had to bring THREE bags (plus a stuffed tote bag) - 2 suitcases & a duffel bag. Remember, I said I overpack a bit, but at least I feel prepared... I think.


Ok.. about to call it a night. Trying to clear my mind - and not set any expectations, and just go with whatever is about to happen for the next 4 weeks.

3 days to go...

In looking at some other people's blogs, I found these 2 videos that are pretty interesting for anyone that wants to know more about what goes on at Fitness Ridge. Granted they show the resort in Utah, the fundamentals are the same for the one in Malibu. So I thought you guys might like to see them:


   Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8_G3P6LpK8  
   Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cT571hI3HEo


Plus a great article link: http://www.walletpop.com/2010/02/13/the-price-of-thin-weighing-in-on-the-biggest-loser-resort-at-fi/?a_dgi=aolshare_facebook


Work is hectic and I'm anxious for this week to end. I'm a little stressed about packing, so we'll see how that goes. I think this may be the first trip in my life where I have 2 suitcases! When we went to Thailand for 3 weeks, I didn't even have 2 suitcases! (duffel bags don't count!) I think a good third of the suitcase is non-clothes/shoes. It's like every supply imaginable that I might need - from Motrin, to heating pad, IcyHot, neosporin, blister case stuff (moleskin, vaseline, blister band-aid), CamelBak hydration pack, and the list just keeps going! Like I said, my tendency is to over-research, over-prepare and over-pack. So, check, check and check!! LOL


Except, there is ONE thing I cannot find that was on my packing list. I have a bit of acid reflux. I thought for sure when I quit smoking (officially 22 months ago), it would get better. It didn't. Then, I thought when I quit Diet Coke (18 days ago), it would improve. It still hasn't. For me, nothing works like Pepcid Complete. And for whatever reason, Northern New Jersey does not have it - anywhere! They only seem to carry Tums, which doesn't cut it for me. Grrrr.  ... Anyone have any ideas or suggestions?
I don't know, maybe it's stressed induced. The work week before a normal vacation is busy enough, but before 4 weeks off? It seems every time I finish 1 to-do list item, there are 3 more to take it's place. And frankly, I'm very tired. :( 


By the way, if you're interested in my non-quest stuff (although travel is an on-going life quest). Here's some pics we took while in Thailand and Cambodia back in 2007. 


   Travel photos: http://www.bluepeanutstudios.com/Travel/Asia 


It hardly feels real that I'll be there in a matter of a few days.......

4 days to go....

I thought I should mention some *truths* before I go. Now, don't start thinking I've gone off the deep end like I'm going to admit what my weight is or anything else so drastic! No. But, I need to be truthful about a few things, since it's got me a bit fearful at the moment. 


I over-prepare. I over-research, over-analysis, and certainly over-pack. I do a lot of  "mental" things to get ready for a challenge - whether it be work-related, relationship-related, house project-related, hobby-related... you get the idea. 


So, when I originally planned & booked this trip back in early November, I had a plan. I was going to begin working out right away in preparation of this trip, lose 25 lbs before I even got there and this trip would take me to the NEXT level. Then the holidays happened. So, then I was going to begin working out (like a FIEND) as soon as Christmas was over. Epic fail. Ok, as soon as New Years came around. Nope. I adjusted my plan, and each time - work, life, TV, sleep, naps, facebook, re-doing my packing list for the 50th time, online shopping for *stuff* I needed for the trip... everything and anything got in my way of working out. Did I forget to mention that I've been paying for a gym membership the WHOLE time?? *sigh*


Maybe you've heard of couch to 5K? ... yeah, well, it looks like I'm going to do couch to Fitness Ridge! I have managed not to work out AT ALL in months. Well, wait a minute. I said I was going to tell the truth. Ok, I haven't worked out in over a year (and then even a little more than that). So, I'm afraid that physically I may be getting in over my head. I've read SO many blogs, and discussion posts that I "know" I'll be fine. Everything's adjustable, this is a journey that will happen at MY level. I know that. But, that doesn't stop the fear from creeping in every now & then. And, you know what? The best way to combat fear is to shine a light on it. Give it words. Say it publicly. Share it. Get it OUT. So, this is me doing that. FEAR, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!


One thing is for sure - this trip is most definitely going to get me to the NEXT level, even if my starting point is a little different from where I "planned" on it being. 


I saw this quote recently and thought I'd share it:

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~Carl Bard 

Next fear. Food. Hello, my name is Danielle and I'm a foodie. Yup, I am. I love food. When I have tons of time, I love cooking, I love sampling, I love all kinds of cuisines. I even like diet foods (just in larger quantities). However, I can also be picky (I'm sure that sentence got a few eye rolls from some people reading this that know me well). I'm willing to try things - hell, I've learned to love sushi! But, when I don't like something, I can't eat it. Not even to be polite. Not even if I'm starving. So, I am concerned about the food that will be there. Not only the tastes & textures, but the amount. Or, more appropriately, the "wanting" more. Oddly, this is one area I've been looking forward to, but tonight, fear crept in. 


Fear is a baddie. It likes to lurk in the deep shadows of our hearts & minds. I think if I get to take a kickboxing class, I plan on pretending I'm kicking fear's proverbial a$$.


Yeah, that's my new plan.